And that’s it!
After two crazy years, which were marred by horrendous grief and major surgery, I’ve managed to stick to my self imposed deadline and submit my thesis. I feel flat, rather than ecstatic, but only because I can’t shake off the feeling that my commitment to my work, and its ability to demand my focus over the last couple of years, has been something of a strength that’s been keeping me together. Everyone talks about the stress of doing a PhD but here’s me worrying about the stress of no longer doing a PhD. I am a little bit weird, but, fortunately, content enough to be so.
Anyway. As any PhD student will know, submission is far from the end of the story. There’s the VIVA to come, and if I’m fortunate enough to pass, I will have to deal with any amendments and rewriting that come as a consequence. I am stressed about this part of the process, but I think feeling scared is relatively healthy. I’ve come this far and I want to go all the way, but I have heard enough horror stories about “bad” vivas to give me permanent nightmares.
It’s time therefore to step back, refocus and then hopefully turn my negative energy into something I can use positively. Easier said than done, but for now, I’m one step closer. It’s been quite the journey, but it’s not over yet….
Margot McCuaig 